Life was fun, exciting, with no difficulties when we used to say “I like you” to each other but I had no idea that it would all become so complicated when the words changed to “I love you”. Don’t get me wrong, Life was still beautiful but there was that added complexity that came along with it.
Guess that is what commitment brings with it.
I strongly believe that Lust, not love, is the only true feeling most humans have experienced across generations. The passion, the intensity, and the desire that both humans have at the moment of lust remains unparalleled to any other high this world has to offer. Love, on the other hand, is misused and misrepresented by people around us all the time. It still remains a feeling yet to be explored by people, except a ‘few’. I became part of a lucky ‘few’ when I fell in love with you.
I may sound selfish, but there really could be nothing better out there in the world for me than you. Maybe that is why I want you more. If people read this, many might think that I am a pessimist or some might even feel that I am a nihilist, but not a lot of people have experienced what I have felt when I was with you.
Things changed when I had to move 8,563 miles away from you. We had a lot of fights over the concept of “time difference”. There were even days when I wished that the earth would never have any timezones. But I am guilty of basking in the pleasure of knowing the fact that you thought about me when I was asleep. And I thought about you when you rested.
It was really romantic for me.
Things changed when we started labeling things that we did for each other as “sacrifices”. I don’t know how people can call things you do for your loved ones as sacrifices. People should “want” to do things for their loved one. Actions are termed as sacrifices when people are forced to do it. Still, even at those times I never lost even a pinch of love I had for you.
Constant fights about things that should never really be a big problem. Hatred actively brewing between us with every passing fight. There was a mountain of days when I wished that it would never dawn. I was scared that another day would bring another fight into our life. I don’t blame you for not trying because we both tried hard. Maybe our love demanded more from us for the fact that it was special.
You can never really hate a person whom you loved, if you do then you never really loved that individual in the first place. You can scream, yell and fight the shit out of that person, but deep down they will always have a special place in your heart.
Even now after all the negativity that has happened between us, I believe we can make this work. But that would demand a great deal of effort from both of us. Just keep in mind that I am ready.
I know that I have been rambling on for pages and pages. But come to think of it, it is still not that long when compared to ‘Rachel’s letter to Ross’.
If my words made no sense to you or if it offended you in any way, I am really sorry from the bottom of my heart. Also if you feel that we both are not in the same place right now or we both might never be, just remember this….
If I am given a chance to live my life a hundred different ways, meet thousands of new people, have millions of new experience. You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me.
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